Contrary to popular belief, there actually was life on Earth before the launch of manualbuzzer.com. Large herds of primitive hunter-gatherers roamed the vast plains, searching for food and shelter on a daily basis. Then, the Bronze Age emerged, and humans slowly settled down in one place, using simple tools to cultivate land and domesticate animals. It was near this time that four friends calling themselves the “FM Around the Horn Club” decided that they would regularly meet to discuss sports and torture waitresses at Tully’s restaurants.



The four friends each had entirely different backgrounds, but like Mike and mIke in the Morning, “what makes them different makes them great!”™ Dubroff was a Jew, and the master of obscure NBA trivia. Ben was a University of Michigan and New York Yankees fan. DMac, an Ohio State University and Boston Red Sox fan. And Marthur was a Neanderthal. They frequently met up to take jabs at each other and play video games such as FIFA Soccer and Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey. Just like the bold warriors featured daily on the competitive sports talk program “Around the Horn,” they did not always agree on key issues, but were always willing to put differences aside at the end of the day to swindle free desserts when going out to eat.



Life was changed forever when Sir Jim of Rome one day introduced the “Manual Buzzer Noise” on his radio program; a guttural, primeval cry unleashed in lieu of an actual buzzer sound effect when one is not available. The Around the Horn Club quickly adopted the practice of the manual buzzer, using it whenever possible, often to an obnoxious extent. Like Joakim Noah’s chest pounds, however, the manual buzzer was accepted as a part of every day life. The manual buzzer noise had such a profound impact on McKeever that, during his orientation at THE Ohio State University, he was struck with the divine inspiration to create a website featuring the famous sound effect. The website, manualbuzzer.com, would feature miscellaneous commentary by the Around the Horn Club, as well as a collection of links and anything else they’d like to bring to the party. All four members would be free to edit the site as he pleased.



Finally, in the year 0 A.B. (After Buzzer, or 2006 in the Gregorian calendar), McKeever’s dream became a reality. manualbuzzer.com was officially launched, and civilization was instantly impacted for the better—the Dow Jones went up 1,337 points, the cost of gas dropped by 70 cents, and Fred Durst developed a severe case of typhoid. Today, visitors to manualbuzzer.com enjoy the best writing in the history of the world, and even have the opportunity (or, privilege) to write into our Mailbag and possibly have their work featured on the site.



Enjoy the site, make donation checks payable to “Ben Johns,” and always remember, “EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”