Borat Sucked and Other Things While I am Hammered

Look, I just got back from break and I decided to write down some of my feelings like a homosapien would on a blog due to his being a bloke. Anyways, to the meat of the story.

It's Saturday night, my aunt and uncle are in from North Jersey, let's go see a movie at the Regal Shoppingtown ($9! And it is NOT stadium seating). We chose Borat. Ordered it online somehow. And I was off to see the movie I feared most.

Think of it this way, J. Max Currier: I'm President Bush. He used to be friendly with my dad ("N*gga tried to kill my faaather!"), and now he's my enemy, so I bomb the hell out of him because I now hate him.") Now I am myself. I used to watch Da Ali G Show religiously ("BOOyakasha!"). Then he made Borat, the worst movie of all time, and I hate him. So I wrote this column to, using words, bomb the shit out of Sasha Baron Cohen. One difference: My theory is much better than Bush's.

Wow, where did you get that idea? How about episode 2 from season 1 (From now on in this article, episodes will be cited in the following manor (using the previously mentioned episode as an example: 1.2) where Borat (SURPRISE!!111111!!!!!oneone11!!!) goes to an eitquette teacher for a lesson then goes against each lesson he learned at a fancy dinner somewhere in the South! Wow, so original!

Let's fuck with some drunk people! Show how bad conservatives are at acceptance at a rodeo! Show naked pictures of someone and talk of how that person is your relative!

What do I have to say to end this rant? Fuck you, Sasha. Fuck you. I loved that show. It was my favorite TV show ever for a while! EVER! I sacrificed the DVD-playing abilities of my computer just to watch that show! Not good enough? I introduced a few people to Da Ali G Show, probably helped you make a few dollars, and I get a shitty movie that tries to stretch the "Borat" sketch to 84 minutes? Fuck you. You KILLED the show. If you're back on HBO with a new season, it will be sans Borat, and you will realize the mistake you made in making that movie. You'll see that Borat was your best character, and Da Ali G Show will be a worthless commodity forever. FUCK! YOU!

Let me explain. Lenny Wilkens holds two records as an NBA Head Coach, one more famous, the other more infamous, respectively: career wins and career losses. And he has won a championship (with the Seattle SuperSonics in '78-'79). Favre is 2nd in career touchdown passes (to Dan Marino) and 4th (George Blanda is 1st with 263) and won one championship (Super Bowl XXXI). Also, they are finishing their careers with some mediocre teams (Favre hasn't moved around, and the mediocre team came to him, while Wilkens had to jump around from shitty team to shitty team). So there.

Also, Tony Romo is awesome!...Actually, Michael Irvin is a fool who did a lot of crack in his day and gladly took the fall for his "brother" and held that crackpipe with a smile. Anyways, Romo sucks. Romo passing for 5 touchdowns on Thanksgiving as a Dallas Cowboy is the equivalent of Michael Blech pitching a perfect game against Berkshires Staff and would lead to something like Romo fucking the shit out of every Cowboys cheerleader, or Blech fucking the shit out of Valerie Levy for their accomplishments (I wasn't at camp this summer, sorry.) Basically, Romo will deflate like a Garfield float from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade after getting stabbed by with 400 foot knife with playoff pressure applied.