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When your favorite team is playing Buffalo on national TV - with the hated coach's job on the line - doesn't that just scream
"running diary?" I think so. Let's do this.
16:04 - Here we are; the game is on ESPNU - was there really nothing better for ESPN to show that they put this game
on TV? It's embarrassing as a Syracuse fan that this is on TV. It looks like a high school game; there is more silver than
orange in the bleachers. I should not be this nervous about BUFFALO, but that's how far the program has fallen. G-Rob HAS
to be canned if they lose tonight... right? I don't even know who I want to win. Prediction: Syracuse 34, Buffalo 26 (that's
three touchdowns, a field goal, and a botched extra point run back for a touchdown by Buffalo).
16:05 - Jesus Christ, I think that Syracuse kicker Patrick Shadle is the guy they used as the model for the kickers in NCAA
07; you know, the really, really huge ones? Shadle looks like he'll have a career in professional sports: competitve eating.
Look out Joey Chestnut... he could even have the nickname "Big Foot!" Perfect!
16:10 - The color guy takes his first shot at Greg Robinson as Buffalo is picking the Syracuse D apart with screen passes.
16:12 - Reason No. 1733 that Michigan should stop doing the "key jingle" on 3rd downs: Syracuse does it.
16:13 - Buffalo drills the field goal and has the lead, 3-0. Could this be Miami of Ohio all over again?
16:17 - "ARob" already 0/1 passing. The perfect game is alive. Not to go all Paul Lukas here... but wow, Syracuse has some
freaking ugly jerseys. It just seems like everything Dr Gross has tried to do at Syracuse has failed miserably. Seriously,
everything. Why why why WHY do we need to be the worst football team in 1A and also have the worst-looking jerseys? At this
point, wouldn't you rather even have Oregon's jerseys?
16:23 - Ohio State is cruising; Appalachian State is losing. I'd like App State to at least be good to give SOME legitimacy
to the Michigan loss. As I was typing, 'Cuse tried to go for it on 4th and 5 and committed a false start. The Bulls downed
the ensuing punt inside the 2. I'm sure that was the strategy all along, right?
16:27 - The announcers tell us that Boeheim is coming into the booth during the second quarter. Maybe this wont be so awful,
after all. I can't help but wonder if there were more people at Midnight Madness than there are at the game right now.
16:29 - Joe Fields started his career at runningquarterback. Thank you, C-list announcers. I should start tallying
the number of times the announcers mention the fact that they were on the Carrier Dome roof in the morning. We're up to at
least four and we're only half an hour in. And they have pictures.
16:32 - Five times.
16:35 - I can't even count anymore. This two-minute roof outburst I'll count as three, including some breaking news from the
sideline man that SU also plays basketball in the Dome for anyone who hasn't watched a basketball game since 1979. We're up
to 8 roof references.
16:39 - Syracuse RB Curtis Brinkley's down, as Syracuse is actually putting together a really nice drive. During the gamebreak
for the injury timeout, U shows FSU/Miami highlights. Hey, didn't you guys used to be the Miami Hurricanes?
16:43 - ARob almost fumbles the ball. I don't get players' obsessions with motioning that they have the ball. Of course they're
going to try to say they have the ball! I don't think too many guys are walking up to the refs and saying "excuse me, sir,
but I don't believe we maintained possession; the other team got it." 3-3 as Big Foot knocks down a field goal.
16:48 - I'm sorry, I don't understand the fascination with Pink Floyd. I think their music is just really kind of weird and
depressing, and in any case, I don't know how great a choice Another Brick in the Wall is at a football game. Syracuse's band
just keeps cranking out the hits. Tied up after the first quarter, Syracuse has looked pretty good but I don't know how I
feel about this game after learning that Temple beat Miami of Ohio today. Miami is, for the record, a team Syracuse lost to.
16:56 - In consecutive plays for UB on offense: two fumbles, three penalties (late hit, delay of game, and illegal hands to
face), AND one roof reference (9). I did not expect much better from this game, but that sequence just crushed the little
hope that I had.
17:01 - Boeheim's in the booth. Apparently Arinze Onuaku broke a backboard about two minutes into Midnight Madness. Good sign
for Onuaku, or a bad omen for Cuse hoops? ARob completes a bomb to Williams and rushes for another first down...
17:04 - ...and then throws a pick in the end zone. Boeheim audibly groans on behalf of the entire city of Syracuse.
17:06 - Another false start and a personal foul for UB; this game is about as easy to watch as a Nancy Cantor striptease.
The Syracuse D does look good, though.
17:12 - The latest Michigan vs. Ohio State ESPN "Never Graduate" commercial features a guy jumping out of a moving car when
his blind date says "Go Blue!" Not bad, but nothing will ever top The Kiss. ("Without sports, this wouldn't be disgusting.")
17:16 - Uh, scratch what I said about the Cuse defense looking good. Buffalo is just steamrolling over the Orangemen
with these little screen passes.
17:18 - The Buffalo punter pins SU inside the the one-yard line. The color guy announces that fantastic punting is "the reason
Buffalo has won its last couple of games." Nothing to do with their scoring? I guess to his credit, that was a pretty
good punt.
17:21 - Curtis Brinkley is officially out for the game. At least backup Doug Hogue looks pretty good so far. And WOW, as I
was typing, ARob drops a perfect pass to Taj Smith for over 50 yards - shades of the Louisville game, why can't they keep
doing this?
17:26 - The announcers are talking about Buffalo's head coach Turner Gill and the budding rivalry with Syracuse. That's a
really depressing thought.
17:27 - TOUCHDOWN, SYRACUSE! What a drive, Doug Hogue punched it in and Big Foot was there with the point after. That's a
big play to take the lead at the half. And yes, I am wincing as I type that I am excited about a 10-3 halftime lead over freaking
Buffalo.
17:30 - Syracuse just recovered a fumble on the ensuing kickoff, and ESPNU lost the audio feed. The awful in-studio update
guy sounds like "Boom Goes the Dynamite" trying to do some impromptu play-by-play, and he drops a roof reference (10) to put
the cherry on it. I wonder how many other people in the country are watching this game along with me right now. My buddy Cam
estimates at least four figures. That's comforting.
17:34 - The regular announcers are back, in mid-stream talking about the roof (11).
17:35 - Andrew Robinson "raises the roof" (12) in the Carrier Dome: touchdown Syracuse! This is more like it; 17-3.
17:39 - Halftime. I'm putting a pizza in the oven. See you for the second hal--oh, wait. Another roof reference! (13) OK,
back later.
17:59 - We rejoin the coverage with "Buck," the color guy, on the roof! (14) I guess this is a normal thing, the color guy
just disappearing during the third quarter. And I'm not just saying that; the play-by-play guy, apparently named "Doug," said
he makes a habit of this.
18:01 - Buck's back, wearing totally different clothing than he was during the "live" roof footage. That was quick for a change
of clothes and a trip down from the roof.
18:04 - Syracuse driving... the sideline guy, Alastair Ingram, is actually a Syracuse senior and looks a LOT like my brother
Corey. Searching for a picture...
18:06 - Surprise, he's not on Google Image Search. Just take my word for it.
18:07 - Syracuse's band is playing the Final Fantasy victory theme! I take it back. They are sweet. Pizza - be right back.
18:13 - Rejoining the action with Buffalo on their own one-yard line. (Throws hands together over head - SAFETY!!! This is
an annoying thing at Michigan games, and I'm assuming it happens everywhere else, too. Whenever the other team has the ball
inside their own 20 or so, the student section makes the safety motion over their heads. I refuse to partake in such lunacy,
and I hope a safety never happens just to spite these morons.)
18:14 - Here's what gets me about Happy Gilmore: the color guy opposite Verne Lundquist did not have one line. What the hell!
Where can I audition for this role?
18:18 - Andrew Robninson runs a great option play with a fake pitch. Awesome, except... this looks eerily like the Pasqualoni
Option Offense Era. Fun fact: the first play from scrimmage of the Robinson Era, featuring the West-Coast Offense™?
Option left.
18:21 - IIIIIIINTERCEPTED! FIIIIIIIIRST DOOOOOOOWN... Buffalo. We just can't shut the door on these guys.
18:28 - "Buck" is a little riled up about getting yelled at by someone on the "chain gang" before the game and this leads
to a three-minute discussion. Where does ESPN get these announcers? How did Anish Shroff get kicked off Dream Job but these
guys are still getting paychecks in the mail? Could he really be any worse than these guys?
18:31 - TO THA WINDOOOOOOW... TO THA [ROOF]! (15) Field goal for Buffalo, it's 17-6. Only up 11, the Syracuse D nevertheless
looks pretty good. It's time for one of those drives they'd always run in the Marvin Graves Era - one that takes about 8 minutes,
and ends with a touchdown to put the game away.
18:33 - GAH! They're talking about the Carrier Dome roof again! It's not even funny anymore! But I can't go crazy; I can't
let them break me. Must... be... strong. I wonder if these guys know that two people have died up there. (16)
18:36 - OFFICIAL JOSH KALETTE SIGHTING! IN THE CROWD AT THE DOME, SITTING WITH THE BUFFALO STUDENTS! To quote McKeever - KALETTE:
THE BEST A MAN CAN GET.™
18:39 - ARob sacked. I don't even care, I'm still reeling from this Kalette sighting. That warrants a post on his Facebook
wall, right?
18:40 - Back to reality. We just punted. On third down. A "quick kick" from a shotgun snap; good for 51 yards. Whatever. The
point is: up only eleven on freaking BUFFALO, we decide to not even try to keep the drive alive, and kick on third freaking
down. The announcers' response? "Greg Robinson flat knows how to coach." I don't even have a snarky comment. It's the end
of the third; I don't even know what I want the outcome of this game to be anymore. Still 17-6 SU.
18:48 - A great Vegas betting line would be: which will be higher? The winning team's point total, or the number of times
they talk about the roof? They didn't say anything about the roof just now, this is simply the most interesting thing I can
think about right now. I'd set the line around Roof Comments (+4.5) at Syracuse.
18:50 - Fourth and one for Buffalo; this is a huge play. And... he got it. If Buffalo scores here, we have a ballgame, and
that does not make me too happy.
18:53 - Buffalo has another penalty against them: ineligible man downfield. Brings back awful memories of my playing days,
when I had a Zac Aga touchdown called back because I crossed the line of scrimmage on a pass play. And another penalty as
I typed; false start. The band plays "Dragnet" every time there's a penalty. I'll have that stuck in my head for a week, I've
heard it so much.
18:56 - Buffalo just converted on fourth down again. That's twice in this drive now. "This isn't a drive-killer; this is a
drive... CONTINUER!" Thanks, Buck. Buffalo is dropping passes, going offsides, and looking sloppy... yet the Syracuse defense
just can't get a stop.
18:59 - Field goal Buffalo, so with about ten minutes left it's 17-9. Buffalo's within a score in the fourth quarter. Just
puttin' that out there. And I must say, the commercials have been surprisingly tolerable during this game! When I started
this diary, I figured I'd be ripping on the awful ads, but they've been varied and I haven't really noticed them until this
extremely homoerotic Bowflex commercial came on.
19:03 - The Cuse offense can't get anything going, and it's 3rd and 11. You be the coach: if you're Greg Robinson... do you
send out the punt unit? (Oooh! Roof call! - 17)
19:04 - Syracuse is going to get a lucky pass interference call to convert their third down - they actually went for it! Syracuse
needs to get down the field and score. Now. (Ten penalties, 82 yards for Buffalo.)
19:05 - WHOO! Smith catches a bomb. This game has at least taught me one thing: Robinson has a great arm when he has some
time, and Syracuse has some excellent receivers. Or, at least, they look excellent against Buffalo.
19:08 - 38-0, USC over Notre Dame. Remember when that game meant something just two years ago? And Weis still has eight years
left on his contract! Oh I just love it. All Notre Dame's bad karma from years of being the most obnoxious team in football
is coming back full-circle. "Lose like a champion TODAY!" Guffaw.
19:10 - 4th and 2: a field goal can put the game away more or less... and Big Foot nails it. 20-9 'Cuse with seven minutes
left. Still sweating a little but one big stop and a few first downs and maybe we can "celebrate" a win over one of the worst-ever
1A football programs. The announcer proclaimed that we'll be "dancing in the streets" with a win. The attendance, by the way,
is just over 30,000. Could we be the only school in the country where basketball outdraws football? How many more one-win
seasons away from this are we?
19:17 - Syracuse is playing some Lloyd Carr-ball. They keep letting UB complete little out routes and stop the clock. ("All
the prevent does is prevent you from winning.") This seems like a good time to bring up my conspiracy theory: Greg Schiano
made a deal with the Devil. And you know what he wished for? To be Syracuse. Think about it. As Syracuse has nosedived, Rutgers
has steadily gotten better. They have celebrities at their games on Thursday night prime-time, and we have one win. We have
absolutely switched places with Rutgers over the last 5 years. I bring this up because Rutgers lost to Buffalo in 2002, Buffalo's
last non-conference road win. Gulp.
19:22 - Excellent commercial from ESPN, I love these "Never Graduate" ads. The one I just saw was an Aggies fan playing Charades,
and the clue was clearly "Texas Longhorns." When he figured out what it was, he refused to say it. "Taco meat?" Awesome, awesome
commercial.
19:26 - Apparently in the announcers' hotel, the team the Crunch was playing this weekend was hogging all the lobby computers...
don't they recongnize these announcer celebrities and defer to them? Kids these days... Oh, if you can't tell, I've completely
lost interest in this game. Syracuse is grinding it out. It seems like it's basically over, Buffalo's getting down to calling
their time outs, Syracuse needs one more first down to salt this one away...
19:28 - ...got it! Mike Williams has been impressive today. It must be all the hooking up with Kelly Evans that got him there.
Or maybe the drugs.
19:31 - The refs have pink whistles, I've noticed this all over football today... is there some reason for this? Google-time.
Doug Bell, Charles Arbuckle - we finally get the announcers' names. Turns out Doug Bell is the one they call "Buck." (Just
kidding.)
19:32 - I don't see anything about the whistles. I think all the refs are just gay. Props to them for having the guts to come
out, all at the same time - stay proud, guys!
19:33 - First down Syracuse. That just about does it! Robinson takes a knee, and ballgame over. ORANGE WINS, THEEEEEEE ORANGE
WINS! Buck: "[Greg Robinson's] been doing this long enough to know that if you can't get results, the end may come." So I
guess four years is long enough to know that, huh? I feel empty. Syracuse beat Buffalo, thankfully - but it was only by eight
points. I was almost hoping for a loss, to finally get the plug pulled on the Robinson Era...
...almost.
FINAL ROOF MENTION TALLY: Like Syracuse, the announcers started real strong and cooled off in the second half. But they hung
on to keep it respectable. Unfortunately for the betting types, Syracuse won the head-to-head matchup. Doug and Buck had 17
Roof Calls, and Syracuse finished the game with 20 points. Keep your heads up, though, guys. There's always tomorrow.
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